2 9 / 0 3 / 0 4:
'w o o d e n h o r s e s a n d t h e r e a n i m a t e d d e a d'


"ghosts, I don't know what they are. i mean, why do we use the word capture when we're talking about getting something on tape--because it's something living. it's not wanted dead or alive--you want to capture the music on tape. that means something has to be living and taken alive--i think that's the hardest part about recording is, you know, if you're not careful you'll be listening to the feathers instead of the bird."

- tom waits

confirmation that the 15 second unsong track has been accepted has now been added to the boyarm web site; www.boyarm.com, click on 'il programma di religione' and follow your nose. i have been allocated my second choice of pope: 'st. sixtus i'; this is now the new title of the track. the sound source and attitude of the track remain eminently applicable. no release date as yet.

more trojan spam 'wisdom': "first thing every morning before you arise say out loud, ''i believe,'' three times." o sod off.

this week hostess elisabeth purchased a tastefully ratty snarling fox's head mounted on a wooden plaque from out of the technological ether of the internet. i showed it to the cat who, after giving it a cursory sniff, hissed loudly and fled the room at a rate of knots. i don't think i've ever seen her move as fast. can you blame her?

geologist on a promise?: http://mineral.galleries.com/minerals/silicate/cummingt/cummingt.htm

a trip to see my parents elicits conversation about my early years... it seems odd to me that i remember some incidents yet not others: i remember the old 'aga' style cooker in the kitchen (sold when i was around 2)... i don't remember hitting my granddad with a bricklaying trowel, and yet i do recall pushing him over in the garden... i don't remember draping a plastic mack over an electric heater, thus setting the thing on fire, causing my sister to run out to my parents screaming "the foke and the fames! the foke and the fames!" and yet i do remember pushing a little girl out of my way so that i could ogle the new tonka digger in a local toyshop window...

today i saw the no. 666 bus. i wonder, where does it go?

i've been asked to collaborate on a track for the forthcoming andrew liles double album 'new york doll'. rules were set down by mr. liles concerning the sound source of my contribution and a rough outline of the type of style he was after, the rest is up to me. of course he could choose (as i spose is his right on his album) to either discard said track or indeed mutate it beyond recognition, we'll see. more as and when.

"it's not breaking down, it's breaking through..." -discuss.

still more trojan spam 'wisdom': "a man has every season while a woman only has the right to spring. that disgusts me." um... ok.

"when there is no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth" the release of two films dealing with the subject in question has reawakened hostess elisabeth's obsession with the end of the world brought about by zombie hoard. she seems to spend an inordinate amount of time constructing intricate contingency plans to be acted upon should the dead rise and walk the earth feeding on the flesh of the living. she's decided that her workplace, being situated above a small supermarket, would be the ideal place to barricade ourselves in and wait out armageddon. yes i think it's ridiculous, yes i've considered that she may need psychiatric help and no i won't be letting you in when you bang on the door, screaming about the rotting undead munching at your heels.

hostess elisabeth's new favourite website: www.raptorman.us

i rang up buckingham palace this week... did you?

bought a 7" on ebay; mixing the old with the new... ebay's a strange and dangerous one. visit the site while at a loose end and you've got a surefire recipe for mountainous household clutter and all consuming financial ruin. i swore i'd never have anything more to do with ebay after i lost a set of jaw-droppingly beautiful victorian amputated hand photos to some bastard dealer with a faster connection. no doubt he then sold them at a huge mark up to some rich fool less deserving of such items than me. i curse him and his whole family.

and yet more trojan spam 'wisdom': "self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of christianity." you'll get no argument from me.

and speaking of christianity, a day of filmic resurrections: 'the passion of the christ' and the 'dawn of the dead' remake in one day... so, is mr. gibson's film anti-semitic? well kinda, yes but then anyone who isn't in jesus' little gang of whiners and weepers is pretty much painted as a one dimensional grotesque. oddly enough the exception is pontius pilate
, the only character that seems to have been portrayed with anything even approaching believable motivation. satan turns up but is given nothing really to do, which is a shame. in the end it's not as horrific as you've been lead to believe, all the bleeding and falling over just gets fucking tedious; could've used norman wisdom (and i don't say that very often). dawn of the dead was just a pretty pointless remake and while the original wasn't exactly shakespeare, this 2004 version lacks any subtlety and eeriness. a few nice moments granted but otherwise, pointless (though better on pretty much every score than the jesus flick).

rock and/or roll?: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3520384.stm

recommended: (audio) 'crime' -cd- by s*core / (comestible) steak pie / (visual) the northern ballet company's production of 'a midsummer night’s dream' / (sensorial) undressing in a room full of strange women

reviled: (audio) still the extractor fan / (comestible) beetroot / (visual) my often stupid hair / (sensorial) rejection letters

and finally, an email from lang: "this is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls, printed in the early 60s in the uk, written by a woman!" :

"when retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. but remember to look your best when going to bed. try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. if you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. when it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. if he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. in all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. when he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. it is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. you may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. this will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."