2 5 / 0 9 / 0 5:
"u n f o r t u n a t e l y w e c a n ' t r e t u r n a n y p a i n t i n g s .. ."


"'not evil,' fermin objected. 'moronic, which isn't quite the same thing. evil presupposes a moral decision, intention, and some forethought. a moron or a lout, however, doesn't stop to think or reason. he acts on instinct, like an animal, convinced that he's doing good, that he's always right, and sanctimoniously proud to go around fucking up, if you'll excuse the french, anyone he perceives to be different from himself, be it because of skin colour, creed, language, nationality or, as in the case of don federico, his leisure pursuits. what the world really needs are more thoroughly evil people and fewer borderline pigheads.'"

- from 'the shadow of the wind' by carlos ruiz zafon

warning, this post contains more images than usual and therefore may take a little longer to load up. (please feel free to pass the time humming the 'gallery' theme from vision on, or more recently take hart). - www.nostalgiacentral.com/tv/kids/visionon.htm

i know, i know, it's been a long time since i posted an entry but... well... it's not like anyone's hanging on my every word is it? i've been busy doing things that are none of your business. so there. i'll leave the details to your foetid imaginations.

it would appear that i live among thieves. why i'm surprised i have no idea. waiting in line at the post office a 'youth', trousers at half mast, wonky baseball cap (you know the drill), walks in, picks up about ten dvds from the bargain bin, not trying to hide his actions at all, and then calm as you please, saunters out (with that simian one-leg-longer-then-the-other gait they all adopt); and then has the cheek to hang around nonchalantly outside. the staff saw what he did and after a bit of "did you see that?" chatter, seemed to just turn a blind eye. perhaps they called the police, who knows. these are lawless times dear readers. i then go across to sommerfields to buy the radio times etc. i'm waiting at the checkout and see a young girl, seven or eight, peeling the stickers from the front of a teletubbies magazine still on the rack. well, stealing is stealing... then when i go to leave the alarm goes off and i'm accosted by the security guard asking if i paid for my purchases! what a world what a world...

ladies and gentlemen, cyril has left the building. having been reduced to a diseased shadow of his former self, shredded and eaten away by the bastard moths,

the decision was finally made to send him away to the bin men.

farewell brave squirrel, we will not see your like again.

an alarming missive from lang: "i dreamt about you last night. you still had long hair and i bought you a coat for your birthday, then i bought you a lightbulb that said it wasn't for use in the uk as a sexaid, but had instrcuctions in dutch of how to use it as a sex aid"

"certainty is the disease of kings"

- sam bicke (from the assassination of richard nixon)

(if the above statement is true then i've been symptom free for some years now...)

for some reason we've been plagued with cold calls trying to hawk mobile phones. boy did they pick the wrong household. i think i may have scared the poor indian chap who called up, confusing me with his pidgin english. i chose to interrupt, why waste any more of either of our time? "no, i don't have a mobile phone and i don't want a mobile phone." but you see he's heard this one before: "o but the mobile phone is the new thing (something) society (something) modern (something)." following his script. i decided to hand him one he'd not heard before: "no, i don't like mobile phones, in fact i hate them, do you understand? they are useless technology made for morons. don't call me again."

the following ingenious pdf. (courtesy of lang) might have helped me... www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/english/counters.pdf

the turf war is on with the local youths. it seems that by moving in to the area, not to mention occupying a new building we've infringed some kind of unspoken primal law. i think, whether they register it or not, they see us as interlopers, as trespassers; it seems that the developers pushed into their world and now they are pushing back: more petty vandalism, the roaring about on tiny 'mini-moto' motorbikes, the almost constant occupation of the carpark to play 'penny up the wall' and to smoke drugs, not to mention the little wankers somehow gaining entry to the actual building one day to use the corridors as their playground. well it's finally gotten too much for the timorous paulette who lives down the hall. she posted a two page letter into everyone in the building's postbox telling us she was moving out and outlining her reasons (see above). a few days after, our buzzer goes, and when i pick up the intercom phone a tiny voice tells me that his mummy's asleep and can we let him into the building. i tell him that no, we cannot, and more importantly, will not. little shit. then dave someone from upstairs drops us all a letter telling us that after what he describes as "a happy six months", he's moving out; another emigrant. rats/sinking ship anyone? do dave and paulette know something we don't?

mr. roast calmly announces over a lovely dinner out with mr. pash, that he rinses baked beans before he eats them. i'm not sure i've ever heard anything so strange.

"usually one has only to suggest what must not be done to find it carried into practice far quicker than any order, however sensible."

- from 'concluding' by henry green

a strange dream: i was peeling a skin off of my right front tooth, leaving the tooth below feeling soft and exposed.

after a long time, more spam hijinks! "one night, i lay in bed reading, and i heard robert in the shower, singing a song gently. then, the shower stopped, and he waved good night as he passed my room. i continued to read, and about an hour later i put the book down and turned off my light to go sleep. i lay in bed, tossing around, and suddenly, i heard moaning. my parents were on the other side of the house, and i knew it must be bobby. i sat up in bed, and heard the moan again. i didn't really know what the matter was. i got out of bed. i went to bobby's room, and the door was open. i stepped inside. he moaned again, and i realized that he was...-click here for photos and video!" whatever can robert have been doing readers? asthma attack? perhaps poor bobby had fallen and hurt himself getting into bed? answers on a postcard...

this little bastard wants to steal your mouse cursor, try and stop him! - www.onemorelevel.com/games/avoider.html

and so it would seem, in the wake of hurricane katrina, that the american administration is institutionally racist and doesn't give a flying fuck about the poor. whodathunkit?? what. a. surprise. footage of the thousands of the poor and dispossessed on the news suggesting a little game every night: first, mute the sound on the television. now riddle me this, is this a story about african famine or new orleans, part of the richest country on earth? people dying just because they're poor, now there's the american dream in action right there.

and on the further making light of disaster:

is this true stoicism, or the pictorial equivalent of nervous laughter?

a development from the 'locals' -a debenhams thong found in the carpark. classy. so we're a knocking shop now as well.

the venerable gude calmly announced some time ago that he planned to run the cityrace this year. so we laughed at the mental image, made the obligatory charles hawtrey references and left it there. but you see the joke was on us dear reader, as he actually went through with it. hostess elisabeth and myself went along to cheer him on / throw things / laugh as he fell etc. and were almost immediately treated to the vision of him 'stretching' (i believe the athletes call it) lunging in his tracksuits bottoms and warming his little muscles up for the onslaught. and then before we knew it they were off and we hurried to a handy corner to watch him / them pass... while eating ice cream. somehow the 99 in my hand made the public exertion of others even more enjoyable. in the end he made a damn good show of it, a damn sight better than i would've with my dodgy knees that's for sure. he came 739th and no, not out of 740 people, out of thousands! he positively shot over the finish line, little more than a blur in spectacles, the number on his chest (1818 -got your number etc.) no more than a smear of numerals on the retinas of those too lazy or tempted by frozen treats to join in. his time: 24:34. i hope you'll join me in a hearty round of applause for mr. gude:

picture to be viewed "to the sounds of the bionic man" -the venerable gude.

go here: www.konditorandcook.com - buy something. eat it. - mmmmmmmmmm

this gem forwarded from the ever elusive tobias:

i'd just put on the beequeen cd 'gund', featuring msbr, when i get an email from mr. liles telling me that koji tano (msbr) has died of stomach cancer. he was 44. that's no kind of age at all to go dying.

the stooges live... now i'm not at all convinced about the whole bands reforming thing but when the stooges threw their hat into the ring i just couldn't say no. archetypal rock monsters the stooges had always been for me the epitome of the full-on-don't-care-if-i-live-or-die kind of rock and roll. and they didn't disappoint. iggy is a genetic freak no question, eleven inch penis or not, he exhibited more energy during the gig than i think i've ever exhibited, the rest of the band practically had to drag him off stage at the end. despite some sound problems (is this going to happen to me at every carling venue???) , to put it in the popular parlance of the 70s: they rocked. a recommended experience.

beware! "the internet is a porn highway to hell." www.citizensunitednegatingtechnology.org

during a very pleasant trip to chez liles it is decided that we go to a monkey park of all places - www.drusillas.co.uk - where a number of spider monkeys took the opportunity to expose themselves to mrs. liles and mr. liles somehow failed to take photographs of animals not three inches from his camera -throwing hostess elisabeth, for some reason, into fits of laughter, tears rolling down her cheeks. o and we saw an animatronic baboon singing 'the lion sleeps tonight'. and then hostess elisabeth's car broke down. it was one adventure after another.

"music, to create harmony, must investigate discord."

- plutarch

another sad loss: "blues artist r.l. burnside, who redefined the blues genre by incorporating indie rock acts and hip-hop production, died september 1, 2005, at st. francis hospital in memphis, tennessee. burnside was born november 21, 1926, in harmontown, mississippi, and spent most of his life in the north mississippi hill country, where he worked as a sharecropper and a commercial fisherman and played guitar at weekend house parties. in 1968, noted folklorist george mitchell recorded burnside for the first time. in 1991 burnside was the first artist signed to then-fledgling fat possum records in oxford, mississippi. his debut, "too bad jim," was produced by former new york times pop critic robert palmer. along with his friend, neighbor, and label-mate junior kimbrough, burnside was one of the most popular and important blues musicians to emerge in the last two decades. he recorded the crossover collaboration "a ass pocket of whiskey" with the jon spencer blues explosion in 1996 and became a cult hero. in 1998, music from "come on in" was featured in several movies and television shows, including the sopranos. burnside sold hundreds of thousands of records in his lifetime. he is survived by his wife alice mae, twelve children, and numerous grandchildren."

wine kampf anyone?

unsong have been asked to contribute to an andrew liles remix album to be released on fourth dimension later this year. the album is to be entitled 'in my father's house are many mansions' and include remixes from such luminaries as the hafler trio, bass communion, frans de waard, jonathan coleclough and others still tbc, all "remixing, reproducing and deforming the music of andrew liles". i have chosen the track 'dissolved (te whare ao aitu)' from the liles release 'my long accumulating discontent', my particular malformation of the source material being almost finished at the time of posting. more as and when, or for more reliable updates why not visit andrewliles.com and sign up for his newsletter.

recommended: (audio) 'the iron point' -cd- by noxagt / (comestible) lilly's vanilla cheesecake from Konditor & Cook / (visual) sunset over the pylons and windmills of dagenham -believe it or not / (sensorial) the stooges, live

reviled: (audio) the people who live opposite and seem unable to communicate without shouting a l l t h e f u c k i n g t i m e / (comestible) gherkins / (visual) a thong in the carpark / (sensorial) too hot to sleep in my oven-like bedroom

and finally, probably the most repulsively interesting and flat out bizarre thing you'll read all week: http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_4200000/newsid_4209000/4209004.stm