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's a p p y g l u e b e e r'


"...certain things are meaningless. after all the theorizing, all the chains of cause and effect, there's a hard core of pointlessness. that may be the only point we can find anywhere..."
- from 'millennium people' by jg ballard

crappy goo smear.

barely been out of the house this year. 2004 looks extremely uninviting and pretty fucking cold to me. i'd like to take this opportunity to tell everyone who celebrated on new year's eve that nothing took place in the instant between 31st december 2003 and 1st january 2004. nothing. no changeover of cosmic intent, no magical refreshment of chance. you celebrated nothing at all... still, if you got monumentally ratted and ended up in bed with a horse, or woke up naked on another continent with zero body hair, smeared in your own fecal matter and missing an ear then of course i heartily approve.

money being the elusive, taunting, teasing bastard that it is, i'm leaning toward putting out an ultra limited transparent vinyl unsong release (perhaps an 11") provisionally titled 'they who do not speak', and consisting chiefly of recordings made last year at chillingham castle, northumberland. www.chillingham-castle.com . more news as and when.

one of my favourite ever sites on the internet (not for design you understand, but for content): http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm

i hear rumours that along with that vacuous, all emcompassingly pointless... thing jordan, john lydon is to appear in the next 'i'm a celebrity, get me out of here' (exclamation mark omitted from title due to overpowering lack of enthusiasm). true this could make for entertaining viewing but what's the world coming to? (answer: a sticky end, as usual) 'artistic drop off' strikes again. i feel dirty for even having referred the whole business. urgh.

this week i was party to inadvertently insulting a one armed man in a stationers. o, and i saw a pensioner fall over. the heady life i lead.

gappy mew leer.

the donuts are watching you... www.thefucksociety.com/animation/pw_donuts.swf (great soundtrack too)

lunch in a chinese restaurant, swiss cottage. adequate food. two minutes in and i notice the music they're playing is a god-awful piano muzak version of the carpenters' 'close to you'; "why do birds suddenly appear...?" ten minutes later and i realise that the same song is still playing. half an hour later and it's still the same song. they played it on a constant (roughly three minute) loop for the entire duration of our meal, changing the track only when we got up to leave. now what was that all about?

fortune from hostess elisabeth's christmas fortune cookie: "only 364 days and you will be doing this again." the most depressing fortune received anywhere ever?

nappy blue fear.

"your conscience is a trick," he said, "it don't exist though you may think it does, and if you think it does, you had best get it out in the open and hunt it down and kill it, because it's no more than your face in the mirror is or your shadow behind you."
- from 'wise blood' by flannery o'connor

recommended: (audio) 'october's larynx' (cd) by daniel menche / (comestible) twiglets / (visual) gloomy bear doll from hostess elisabeth / (sensorial) home again

reviled: (audio) guns and roses / (comestible) limp chips / (visual) bank statements / (sensorial) a wall of cold at my door

and finally, "woah-oh, dedication's what you need..." and this bloke had it in spades:

"man kills himself with sulphur from 'matchsticks'

a 26-year-old capital resident sunday took his own life by stuffing sulphur, collected from matchsticks, into a pipe and lighting the stuff holding it on his right temple, published reports said.

krishna bahadur adhikari, a self-trained mechanic by profession, committed suicide in his home in swayambhu, kathmandu, the himalayan times said quoting local police.

"as the stuffed sulphur burnt, it exploded on his head and scattered his skull bones all over his room," said damodar ghimire, a police inspector at the ward police office, swayambhu.

the room where adhikari lived was a complete mess with a lot of matchboxes and stripped matchsticks lying all over, he said.

"the dead must have undergone severe frustration for a long time and took his time to prepare the explosive. this suicide case is really a strange one because of the method adhikari used," the police said.

some people innovate new things to give life and some to take, said the daily in its remarks. "adhikari innovated a new form of explosive and this time he was a guinea pig in the experiment he conducted."

-nepalnews.com mr Jan 5"