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'c o c k s u c k i n g c o w b o y s'


my fucking pc speakers have started to beep intermittently for no apparent reason, interrupting everything i try to do. technology hates me... maybe there's an album in it? ah, that's better... but for how long?

so the war is drawing to a close... will they catch saddam? personally i'd like to see a great big farce of a show trial, a huge hollywood catastrophe with mr. hussien in the dock that would make the oj trial look like my appearance at southend magistrates court for poll tax evasion in the early nineties... come on america, you can do it. showbiz it up.

took a bath with a rusty drawing pin last week. not something i recommend.

hostess elisabeth is convinced that there is some kind of sinister genetic experiment going on in islington. after seeing a number of bizarrely dis-proportioned dogs at the weekend, she believes that dark gene-splicing forces are at work. one dog had legs that were way too long for the rest of it, the other had a head too small for its body; g.m. pets anyone?

i have finally passed a kidney stone. didn't hurt either which i expected it to. better not count my chickens, there may be more to come. what the white coats will make of it when i take it in to be examined lard only knows. still, as many a vomiting man has exclaimed: better out than in. a picture:

it is there i promise you... if you look ever so closely...

finally came across a copy of 'the disintegration loops' by william basinski. saw the associated film last year and have been trying to get the cd ever since (the film featured single-shot, static footage of the aftermath of the twin towers collapsing in new york). the cd involves recordings basinski had made some years ago and when trying to re-record them from the reel-to-reel tape to a more digital format, he found that the tape had decayed and the iron oxide was literally crumbling off of the tape, leaving strange spaces in the recording; "the music was dying" writes basinski in the sleeve notes. this process produces a quite staggering sound, a beautiful rolling soundscape of loops which develop and devolve incrementally across its entire length (the track that went with the film lasts 1hr 3min and 33 secs). hypnotic and strangely moving. i also bought part two in the series 'the disintegration loops ii', only to get it home and discover it was a cdr and yet cost the same price as the cd. bit of a stitch up, quite annoying. still that's bloody artists for you.

some time ago on these pages i expressed happiness that politicians had sunk once again in the eyes of the general pubic to subhuman scum. i am so naive. figures published yesterday say that labour's lead over the quoteunquote opposition has doubled since the war; and our prime minister's 'personal approval rating' is up 27 points. jesus.

went to the bi-annual scientific and medical instrument fair yesterday. i was pretty skint but managed to buy a coupla nice things, one of which was a perforator! (something i've been after for quite a while) and the other was a tiny speculum, possibly aural or nasal. the guy who looks worryingly like harold shipman was there again, he asked me if i was happy, "er, yes" i replied, "very happy thank you", then he asked if i was ecstatic, "um, yeah ok then... practically euphoric" i tried. "well now i think that's going a little too far" he said. funny chap.

fact: eating a whole packet of maryland chocolate chip and hazelnut cookies in one sitting of under five minutes will give you indigestion. trust me.

a pool outing with mr. roast, american john and the venerable gude; each of us pushing for the 'magic beer window' to improve our play and each of us, apart from that jammy bastard roast, failing spectacularly. we finished off the day with a round of 'cock sucking cowboys' (half butterscotch schnapps, half baileys), obviously making mr. roast order them as punishment for winning. a supremely gay drink, yes, but surprisingly drinkable.

saw a sticker yesterday: 'as a pacifist you are never safe'. answers on a postcard.

had my first ever ride as the passenger on the back of a motorcycle yesterday. thank you ginny. most exciting (i've lead a very sheltered life). what really surprised me was how easily i was able to block from my mind just how potentially dangerous the whole thing was. conquering fear is all about surrender.

for his birthday, hostess elisabeth and myself gave the venerable gude a pair of green pants (that's underwear you americans) with the word stallion emblazoned on them in red. he's just emailed me a film of him cavorting around in them, with a backing track of funky drum and bass. o the humanity. o how we laughed. o... o... i think i've just come.

recommended: (audio) 'the disintegration loops' i & ii (cd/cdr) by william basinski/ (comestible) sausages and mash at the s&m cafe -it's not what it sounds like / (visual) the venerable gude's erotic pant cabaret / (sensorial) mmmotorbikin', mmmotorcyclin'

reviled: (audio) placebo / (comestible) twinkies/ (visual) the venerable gude's erotic pant cabaret / (sensorial) cracking a toe nail