0 5 / 0 2 / 0 3 :
'd e a t h , b l o o d
a n d p e s t c o n t r o l'


mysterious hum update: my first attempt to record the sound was around 12:30 at night but as it was a saturday, there was still too much traffic. though as i approached the building (from which i can now report the sound is definitely emanating) the hum seemed to grow quieter. i went out again at around 11:15 last night to record the sound. i got a little of it but then a bus went by and by the time it had passed, the sound had mysteriously stopped…

this morning a parcel was delivered to our house addressed to 'a. boner'. i kid you not.

london in snow and gridlock. welcome to the twenty first centaury. proof, if you needed it, that the world is run by fucking monkeys. snow? in winter?! whodathunkit? bring on the congestion charge, let the pubic transport go to hell, fuck it, let's go to war, go ahead, level iraq, we'll bulldoze it and open a theme park; let's watch it all turn to shit. it's the same the world over. of course the real problem is that it only seems to be these half-arsed imbeciles that have even a passing interest in being in charge:

rock us hard place.

a somewhat questionable slogan i encountered recently (probably from america): 'love is not abuse' discuss.

yesterday a red ambulance helicopter landed in a tiny park near my house. sponsored by virgin no less. quite a bizarre sight. it looked like someone working on the building site nearby had been injured. the longer i watched however, the longer i got the impression that whoever the injured party was, they were beyond saving. paramedics sauntered around, chatting to the pilot, awaiting what by now i presumed was less a patient and more a body. eventually the body was loaded and the helicopter took off, shaking the trees. everywhere people wandered about their daily lives, sparing only the merest glance skyward. death is so strange and so strangely inconsequential.

a lovely word: pusillanimous - "adj. wanting firmness of mind: mean-spirited: cowardly."

foolishly i let my electric toothbrush run down until it sounded like an opiated bee and was about as useful at cleaning my teeth. so while it was put on charge, i had to use a 'regular' toothbrush. a bit too vigorous with the bristles. it left my mouth full of blood. should have taken a picture. it seems to be a feature of technology that as well as replacing, it must also render totally unusable the method it replaces. today my re-chargeable electric razor ran out on me mid-shave. and it had been a while, i was somewhat 'beardy'. spending a hour or two with a moustache is a strange experience. is this some kind of technological conspiracy to keep me hirsute and bleeding?

hostess elisabeth was in the camden sainsburys this morning and she saw the staff trying to catch a huge rat under a shopping basket, while using the word "mouse" so as not to unduly alarm the pubic. she was wondering whether they simply put the basket back for shoppers to use when they'd finished… hmmm, environmental health anyone? caveat emptor, dear reader, caveat emptor.

remember micronauts? www.micro-outpost.com this site had me freaking out and shrieking like a 12 year old girl. fuck i'm old.

"enquiring minds know mike walker is a juice guy." apparently.

i hate, hate, hate the fucking 'insert' key on my keyboard, it is a stupid, pointless and all encompassingly vile button. and it's too close to 'delete' and other important keys to be ignored. it's a bastard and i hate it.

but on the positive side, the venerable gude came back from japan this week and brought me back a frankly fantastic t-shirt: on the front it says 'i disqualified myself from the world.' and on the back 'you should disqualify yourself from the world.' thank you gude.

recommended: (audio) the mysterious hum / (comestible) poppy-seed bread / (visual) www.abandonedasylum.com / (sensorial) the smell of marmite

reviled: (audio) the mysterious hum / (comestible) cardamom pods / (visual) a t.v. advert for next year's christmas club / (sensorial) a stubbing of the toe

and finally, woah:

"giant squid latches on to yacht in jules verne racejanuary 16, 2003 by john lichfieldparis: jules verne would have been delighted. not only is the trophy for the fastest round-the-world yacht trip named after him, but one of the competing boats was grappled this week by a giant squid.the trimaran geronimo, skippered by the holder of the jules verne trophy, olivier de kersauson, was seized by a squid on sunday night, just like the submarine nautilus in verne's novel 20 000 leagues under the sea.the giant squid (architeuthis dux), believed to have been 10 metres long, wrapped itself around the geronimo's hull for an hour near the straits of gibraltar before letting go and returning to the depths.last year scientists reported that there had been a upsurge in the collective mass of giant squids, and that they now outweighed the world's human population. some claimed this was due to hotter water temperatures from global warming, which sped the metabolism of baby giant squids, making them bigger.the trimaran was undamaged and continued its journey southwards, in an attempt to beat m. de kersuason's own record and a challenge from british yachtswoman ellen macarthur's boat. after the boat slowed mysteriously, the geronimo's chief mate, didier ragot, peered under it through a trap door, and saw the squid, clinging to the boat's hull and rudder."it was impressive," he said. "its tentacles were as thick as my arm." michel sigronzac of the french ocean research institute, ifremer, said giant squids hunted small sperm whales and other creatures."this one must have realised a boat's hull is not very tasty," he said. - foreign service"

-cape times online